So I was driving home after work, and that slight vibration that was hitting a resonant car body frequency at 55 m.p.h. started to be noticeable at 50 ... and then 45 ... and then I heard that ominous *fwap*fwap*fwap*, so I pulled over and sure enough, one shredded tire. No problem, I have a spare. I explored the previously-uncharted depths of the back of the car and discovered the jack and wrench which appeared to be in virginal condition. Removing the spare wheel from the rear door was no problem, and I set to work taking off the wheel with the shredded tire.
Which is where I ran into my problem. The wrench was a tiny little thing, barely 12" long, and I no longer weigh enough to be able to apply enough torque to loosen over-tightened wheel nuts, even while bouncing up and down on the end of the wrench, or applying opposite force by pulling on the wheel arch. Of course, it was only a few minutes before Mr-and-Mrs All-American pulled up in their lime green family SUV, and offered to help. I explained to Mr All-American that all I really needed was his extra weight to loosen the stubborn nuts, and he grabbed the wrench and went to work.
By turning them clockwise.
My heart sank, but before I could come up with a tactful way to tell him to try the opposite direction, he pause, wiggled his fingers while looking thoughtful and mouthing silently to himself, and then turned the wrench over. Tragedy averted. Those nuts were really on tight, and even his extra hundred pounds or so was barely enough to crack them. He then insisted on doing everything else. Putting the jack in place, and raising the car. Taking the old wheel off. Putting the new wheel on. Removing the jack. All the while telling me he's "changed enough wheels in my time, it's no problem". I did manage to put the old wheel back on the rear door myself while he was distracted. At least I can be sure that was done right.
I'm sure you're wondering what Mrs All-American was doing during all this. Well, she was sitting in the car, doing her nails, talking on her cellphone and probably admiring her husband's muscles. When a bee threatened to enter the car, she screamed. "Put the window up, honey," her husband advised. She smiled and blushed, acknowledging that such an action would never have occurred to her.
They offered to drive behind me as I went to put air in the rather deflated spare. I assured them that I'd be fine, driving slowly for three miles. I really couldn't wait for them to be gone. Yes, I am grateful that they stopped to help. I could just have done without the reminders of the gender roles and attitudes that are so prevalent in our society and the assumption that I have no idea how mechanical things work. I'm sure Mr All-American's ego would have deflated as quickly as my tire did if I'd pointed out the fact that he didn't know the difference between 'tighten', and 'loosen'.
It was time to spend the money on four new tires, anyway.
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I always have to tell myself "lefty loosey, righty tighty", when tightening or loosening. I'm guessing being a bit dyslexic has more to do with that than being born male.
ReplyDeleteWe all take pride in helping people regardless of gender but men do seem to have bigger egos that need coddled at times. How much of that is societal up bringing, inherent in the genes, or results of hormones is hard to say.
I've had to swallow a lot of my pride living as a woman. It's become very evident to me just how much weaker and inferior women are considered. Surprisingly not just among men but among women as well.
Of course many women accept and use it to their full advantage. I love when men get all chivalrous with me because it's a sign I am being accepted as a woman. Having doors opened for me or being allowed to go ahead of a man are a few nice perks. Yet there are times when it is obvious I am being treated as an inferior silly old weak woman and well that just plain pisses me off.
So what do I do? I go along with it because there's got to me "some" perks to being a woman.
BTW - I've really enjoyed your growing up blogs and kept meaning to come back and comment on them.
I encountered some of the same attitude myself awhile back, although, in my case, the roles were reversed: I was the (potential) rescuer, Mr. and Mrs. All-American, and their All-American boy, were the ones in need of help.
ReplyDeleteDuring most of my years growing up, my dad owned a Jeep (then virtually the only 4WD vehicles available in the States) and we spent many hours bouncing down back roads, climbing hills and getting stuck (and, eventually, unstuck). And I've owned my own 4WD vehicles for 15+ years just so I can go where other people aren't, primarily at the ends of northern and central Arizona's many rocky roads. Although I haven't done as much of that since my transition, I still enjoy it when I get the chance.
A little over a year ago, I was in Tucson for a workshop. I've been down there for these workshops before and on my way back I like to find a different way home that inevitably involves some amount of "4-wheeling." This time I decided to drive to the top of Mt. Lemmon and down the other side to Oracle. My friend Alison in Tucson warned me that the road was really rough, but I found it not particularly challenging. (In fact, it can probably be done without 4WD as long as you have decent ground clearance and know how to negotiate your way around the high spots.)
I had gone perhaps 5 miles down the dirt road on the back (north) side of Mt. Lemmon, when I came upon an SUV (i.e., one of those vehicles that have 4WD but are clearly not made to drive off the pavement) stopped by the side of the road. Mr. All-American appeared to be about to start changing a tire, while Mrs. All-American and young All-American son watched. Growing up, I learned that you never pass by someone in possible need of help in the backcountry without stopping and doing what you can to help, since you never know when you'll be the one in need of rescue. Feeling quite smug) in both my driving skills and my ability to change a tire, I stopped, rolled down my window and asked Mr. All-American if he needed any help. The look on his face in response clearly said that he had no idea what a woman could possibly do to help him and wondered what in the hell a woman was doing driving down this remote road all by herself anyway? (I suspect there was also a bit of hurt male pride to see me safely negotiating the road, when he couldn't, a feeling I had no interest in alleviating.) In any case, he said, no thanks, and I went on.
As your Mr. All-American told you, I've changed my share of flat tires, as I'm sure you have too. So, my Mr. All-American got to save face in front of his wife and son, but was left on the narrow roadside to fend for himself. Oh, well, his loss.
BTW, if you ever get a chance to take that drive, please do. It's beautiful, especially as you get lower down above Oracle where there are fields of bear grass waving in the wind.
Thanks for the memory, Sonora. I hope you get those new tires soon, that is, unless you want to repeat your fake "damsel in distress" scenario to see who stops the next time. :-)
Having come from the "other side of the fence", I can relate to that macho pride a bit more than I'd like to admit. Of course, I've always been one to offer to help when it seems appropriate, but I can see how it can get tangled up in male pride too. My problem these days is that I haven't quite gotten comfortable yet with accepting help when offered, like when the guy at the feed store offers to carry out my 50 pound bag of rabbit food. I guess I need to learn to smile and say "thank you" instead of thinking I should do it myself, another adjustment to the "fem" side for me. :-)
ReplyDeleteBesides, those 50 pound bags are getting heavy these days, as I've continued to lose what little muscle mass that I had. LOL
I would suggest that you go to Walmart or some place like that and buy a large tire wrench to keep in your car for "just in case". They have 4 different sizes for the lug nuts and, because they're shaped like an X, you can put a lot of force on the nut by pushing with your foot on one side of the wrench and pulling on the opposite side. I always have one handy in my car, I even painted the end that fits my car's lug nuts black so I wouldn't always be having to find the right one. :-)
Sorry for adding to your gender stereotype but I wouldn't know the first thing about changing a tire. I'm not all that interested either but I guess that's something I **should** learn? Never know when it might be necessary and Triple AAA might not be available. LOL
ReplyDeleteAdding to what Amber said, those "4-way" wrenches come in several different lengths, so buy the biggest one you can stow that has the right size on one end of it if you decide to go that route. This is especially important nowadays because not only are the torque specs on the lug nuts themselves going up (my last car, '79 Chrysler was 85/ft.pounds, my '07 Silverado is 140 if I recall) but there are those who put them on with an "impact" wrench and never recheck the torque with a real torque wrench when they rotate your tires, etc.. Some of those wrenches are far in excess of that 140. (250 to 300 ft./lbs!)
ReplyDeleteSomething else I throw in on road trips or if I'm towing a rental trailer or something:
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/displayitem.taf?Itemnumber=92349
For $24 it will break any lugnut and even bigger things (a brother-in-law in Vermont used mine a few years ago to change a ball joint).
Harbor Freight also sells torque wrenches and sockets for less than $20 that you can use to check the torque on the lugs, as when they are overtightened and uneven they can warp your brake rotors and/or wheels and cause you hundreds of dollars in other problems! The proper spec is usually in your owner's book.
"Hide-a-spares" seem to lose about 15 pounds every 6 months, so besides checking my tire inflations at least once a month, I try and check the spare at least spring and fall (when I change my smoke detector batteries). The full size under my truck doesn't seem to lose, but I still check it.
I'm glad you didn't "lose it" when the tire went, that your helper didn't break off a stud in helping, and that things turned out well in the end!
Hope you don't mind my adding this stuff...if you already know all of it then perhaps someone else will glean an idea that keeps them from the side of the road somewhere!
alan
left loosy, right tighty!
ReplyDeleteNow that would've have been awesome if the woman got out to help you instead.
*note to self. Must learn to change tire without help of man* ~sigh~
(Or just bench press a lot. (-; )
A little automobile trivia...
ReplyDeleteThere were some makes of vehicles that had lug nuts that were reverse threaded so that to loosen them, you had to turn them clockwise. I discovered this some years ago when, after bending a tire iron in the effort, I called a mechanic friend and he enlightened me to that fact. Haven't the foggiest why they would be treaded that way.